we can live like jack and sally

Friday, September 24, 2004

phew...takin a break...had my gp paper today...wah the essay qns damn tough..did the qn 'the easy availability of information means that censorship now is more than before, neccessary'. or sth like tt..wah almost died writing it...so many things to consider...but went well i think...compre was a killer...esp the AQ...wah.......ok stop talkin abt it...
gone are the days when i cld write my stories...miss doin that...love doin it..when ive time im goin to start again...nowadays, even when i get the inspiration or an idea, also got no time to write...or i forget them...damn...still rmb those times when i'd tell susan n shuting they all wad i wrote...:) so fun lors...miss writing!!!
wad am i goin to do after graduation?
sociology?
psychology?
journalism?
medicine?
bio?
teacher?
lawyer?
economist?
no idea

blaque stepped into the dark at 8:10 PM!

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

jus talked to him online...:):) sometimes really qt screwed man...how i let a guy influence my mood so much....he can make me smile or totally upset...i really dunno...well but i dun care now...cos all i know is that he makes me smile...:)

blaque stepped into the dark at 8:54 PM!

Monday, September 20, 2004

damn...dun think im goin to be able finish my revision on time..damn argh i must finish it soon..hafta finish chem by thurs latest n bio by fri...econs also....tt means no sleep for this wk..great.
dunno if its my own psychological doin or wad, but been feelin a tightness in my chest lately...hard to breathe liddat...cld it really be as wanyi said? tt ive been drinking too much coffee? beta cut down...ok bac to wk..

blaque stepped into the dark at 8:13 PM!

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Went for MAF ytd!!! (mid autumn festival) haha...so fun!!! was held in sch n for the 1st time since the orientation at the start of the yr, i truly felt the HC spirit again, n feel how fun sometimes HC can really get...we were all standing in a circle with our seniors...linking hands n singing the hwa chong songs...damn nice! :) haha ohya n i cant blieve that i actually danced haha...was dancing with simin n we were like laughing our heads off haha...damn funny, cos both of us dinnoe how n we were like jus turning n turning arnd non-stop...haha..:) then after tt was the grand light-up n damn it was cool...the 'yuan' word at the back..how it started burning...then the light-up of the fountain..wahs damn nice.. went to take some pics with pple n our class...gonna have gd memories..:) then haha when we were watching the performance, haha i saw him...n i was like tellin simin haha then i turned arnd again n he was lookin arnd n our eyes jus met! haha said hi..:) simin was like saying haha she cant take it anymore cos we so got mo4 qi4 haha...:) jus very happy...:) it was a really fun night!! had a great time...:)

blaque stepped into the dark at 10:41 AM!

Thursday, September 16, 2004

i did it!! gave it to him today...haha...pretty nerve-wrackin...had to really work up the courage to give it to him...so scary...:) but happy!!!!!!!!~

blaque stepped into the dark at 7:50 PM!

Monday, September 13, 2004

saw him today...in the canteen..omg..cant believe it...i turned red AGAIN...argh...so bloody obvious lars...hope he din notice anything...so embarrassing!!!~ ahh....anyway his bdae coming soon...got him a card...hope i do muster up the courage to give it to him n tt he'l not read too much into it...sigh...this is rather painful..argh

blaque stepped into the dark at 10:03 PM!

Sunday, September 12, 2004

feelin restless n upset now...over wad im not too sure..but i kinda have an idea..put it aside for now...
~Soulmates'
i used to believe in soulmates
i used to believe in finding the right one
the One
the only
do i still believe in that now?
i don't know
don't know what to believe anymore
what to trust
what to feel
if there are such things as soulmates
will i ever find mine
if the man i marry is not my soulmate
then is what i feel for him fake?
or any less?
have i upset the order of things
have i stole someone else's soulmate
then is what i feel love

blaque stepped into the dark at 9:37 PM!

Romantic Realist

When it comes to relationships, you're looking for a fairy tale — or something pretty close to it. While you don't really expect to be whisked away by a prince on a white horse, you probably like the idea of being rescued — as long as you're allowed to rescue back. You expect great things out of people, especially those you love, and you don't mind putting in the extra effort to make sure everyone (including yourself) is happy.

Tradition is usually important to you, as long as it's mixed with your own personality. Sure, flowers and candy are great, but when it comes to showing affection, you simply want something that is unique and special to your relationship. For you, it's always the thought that counts.

blaque stepped into the dark at 8:41 PM!

OuT oF tHe bLuE~

I was almost about to lose my faith
Was still dreaming but feared it was too late

But then you came along to my surprise
and stole my heart before my very eyes

Chorus: You took me right out of the blue
simply by showing that you love me too
only by giving me your everything
with a love so true you took me out of the blue

I was wondering what love was all about
I was trying but couldn't work it out

But then you came along to my surprise
and made my frozen mind come alive

Chorus: You took me right out of the blue
simply by showing that you love me too...

You let me out of the darkness
you brought me out in the sun
I think you must be the only one for me
'cos you took me

Chorus:
Right out of the blue
simply by showing that you love me too
only by giving me your everything
breathing air below my wings
You took me right out of the night
simply by filling my heart with light
only by giving me your energy
with a love so true you took me out of the blue

~25 Minutes

After some time I've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her
and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her weddingdress
but she's crying while she's saying this

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends

But still I see her in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her weddingdress
but she cryed while she was saying this

Chorus: Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head
still I can hear the words she said

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

I can still hear her say.......

blaque stepped into the dark at 4:47 PM!

Saturday, September 11, 2004

jo goh called me ytd!!!!!!!!!! frm australia!!!!!!!!!! totally din expect it was her...haha cldnt recognise her voice...n she was like 'guess hu's this' n im like 'err...kaini? susan? ' haha....miss u goh!!! so happy to hear frm u...wanted to talk to u longer but cos opf rocketing hp bill n my mum...cldnt..haha but u cld call me on my house fone! i think maybe cheaper?? haha...ill tell u my house no. when ya call me again...man after she called ytd, i was like thinking abt so much stuff...she was always someone to watch grand slams with me...talk abt the new songs on perfect ten...talk abt wad happens on the mornin show on the perfect ten...abt the new shows on ch5...abt buffy n spike...charmed..wad a trashy show it has bcum..(afetr cole has left) ;p ant roddick n ferrero...abt william sisters' weird gears...abt the movies...i miss u! realise tt i hardly talk abt all these anymore cos there's no one to listen to me...watched 2 weeks notice..the sweetest thing ...first knight over this hols...u'd have been the one i'd haf talked to abt all these.... and all the cute guys...:) rmb our list? miss havin ya arnd jus to hang out n chat...abt everything...i din even tell anyone ferrero crashed out....cos nobody watches...n they wun understd my 'pain' haha....still rmb last time when he crashed out u were like, 'my condolences...' hahaha...miss ya alot.. when u do come bac for hols...MUST hang out together ok?? :) luvya..

blaque stepped into the dark at 11:18 AM!

Friday, September 10, 2004

sometimes i really hate myself.
wads wrong with me?? i think so much..i analyse everything to death..
those who know me well will know that i think alot..most of the time about unimpt stuff..
why am i so bloody sensitive? sometimes i wish i didnt feel so much.. sometimes i wish i cld jus brush it aside when i know someone is feelin left out n not do sth abt it n not feel bad.. sometimes i wish i would stop feelin it's my fault when my fren's in a bad mood n feel compelled to say sth..somtimes i wish that i can stop beating myself up over my own inadequacies, or when i beat myself up over wasting time when im supposed to be doin work.. i wish i could stop feeling that whenever someone is angry, she's angry with me..or when they're whispering n im not sure wad they're talkin abt, i leap to the conclusion that it must be abt me.. i wish i could stop..this i damn tiring..but if i wre to stop, it wldnt be me anymore..this IS my character, i like it or not.. n obviously i still cant stop analysing everything to death, or i wldnt be typing this entry.

blaque stepped into the dark at 3:49 PM!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

haha...today is another happy happy day!!!~ haha...saw him today when me, lisa n simin were walkin to coro...haha...we were like coming towards eacg=h other in opposite directions..haha din see him at first..then lisa was like..'here he comes...' haha then she went chirp chirp haha damn funny...haha then he was like smilin and saying hi...:) haha then he talked to me for a while haha n lisa said i turned very red!!~ haha...man so obvious..haha but was so happy...my heart was like beating so fast...:) he really made my day...:)

blaque stepped into the dark at 9:49 PM!

blaque stepped into the dark at 7:33 PM!

Monday, September 06, 2004

been feelin rather sentimental lately...esp today...had like a flow of inspiration today...wrote many things...i was watching the movie 'first knight', abt king arthur, guinevere and lancelot.. such s sad story..put me in a rather sad mood..love is so fleeting.. felt really sad for arthur..cos in the end guinevere loved lancelot...n he had to die..

Love has many faces. ~guinevere
Is it possible to love two men?
When u love two men, u have to make a choice. ~arthur
Look on me the same way u would look on the one u love. ~arthur
I cannot kiss her, for I've only one heart to lose. ~lancelot
You've left me nothing. ~arthur
The man who loved you too much to change you. ~lancelot
I know not of love, but i do know that i would wish to feel the warmth of the sun upon my face before i die. ~arthur
I feel it now, the warmth of the sun. ~arthur
The sun's in your eyes. ~arthur

A beaten
Broken man
Torn in spirit
His heart in shreds
The pain of love
When you are in so deep
And so is she
But it ain't with you

~ Love is for sentimental fools.
And a fool I am~

blaque stepped into the dark at 5:54 PM!

sometimes i dun like wad i feel, n i wish i cld stop it..he can influence my mood with so little..he doesnt even haf to consciously do anything..he probably doesnt even noe..why do i think abt him so much? i wait for his smses...wait to see him...wait for him to smile at me..so wad even if i see him? i cant do a single thing..maybe i shld jus give it up?

blaque stepped into the dark at 9:43 AM!

Friday, September 03, 2004

I sat on the floor, trying my best to tuck my body into a small ball. I mustn’t draw attention to myself. I squeezed my eyes shut as I remembered the horrifying scene. A boy that I knew had been shot dead. I used to see him around the corridors in school, with his group of friends, laughing and joking. I didn’t know his name. Now I won’t have the chance. I turned my face away from his unseeing eyes, as he lay unmoving on the polished wooden floor of the gym, his blood forming a pool around his head. I mustn’t think about such things. I had to stay alert, I had to stay alive, I had to get out. I looked around, the men looked frightening. They had on masks so that I could only see their eyes, and their guns. Their eyes. Cold. They were scary. I choked back a sob. I wanted my mum, my dad. I don’t to die. I don’t want to get a hole in the head like that boy. I would be a good boy if I could get out. I won’t play when it’s dark outside the house if mum is not happy. I would get good grades. I would be a good boy. Really. I won’t be bad no more. I had to try, I had overheard the man with the scary eyes saying that he would kill all of us. I had to get out. I had to. I looked at the man, he wasn’t looking at me. Could I? Could I make it? I stood up and made a dash for the door.

The boy’s body jerked as the bullets tore into him. He fell to the ground, already dead, his eyes staring unseeingly ahead.

decided to write this after i had abt the russian seige that involved the sch...felt so sad..well, im finally doin sth i like...havnt written a full story in mths?? ya...finally i can..

blaque stepped into the dark at 10:43 PM!

saw him today!!!~ :) haha...talked to him for awhile...they're havin their chem prac today...:) haha so happy after tt...then me n yixin like crazy liddat, keep walkin past the class bench..haha but according to her he looked quite happy to see me...:) n she got tt feelin again...:) hmm..then talked to her abt sum stuff n i felt much beta....hmm haf decided tt i prob wun ask ms tay abt the ms heng incident...too long past liaos...forget it..but she beta not do it again...havnt she heard of coming to the person n tellin her herdelf? sigh...ohwell..then me yixin n simin went to the library to photocopy the past yr promo pps...wah 3 hrs lors...can die ars...fell aslp on the bus n almost missed my stop...:) haha...happy happy day!!~

blaque stepped into the dark at 9:15 PM!

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

went bac to stnicks ytd!!!!!!! so happy...haha...saw so many pple....actualli din see alot of tchers...
saw mrs christina tan...ms lim...hm...haha tts it...so happy...miss tt place....n i went to eat blue bowl!! man it still taste the same...it still rocks! haha...met uip with sonya there n we went to the staff rm while she tried to avoid sushilla like mad haha...then after tt we went to the library to hang out cos got aircon ahaha..read some funny horoscope bk...hahaha...virgo n me? (think abt it...) HAHA...:) sorry inside joke...:) then after tt went to find shuting...saw sally...van...cheryl...they all look the same! apparently me too haha...van was like screaming 'librarian....!' at the top of her lungs when she saw me...haha damn funny...sally said tt our class got curse, nva more than 8 pple turn up for gatherings haha...:) me n shuting went to the library again...saw daphne there...yiwen too...met with my juniors...ohya b4 tt we also went to our 4C classrm...me n ting were like jus standing there...thinkg abt all the incidents tt happened inside...it was really a world of our own...our own space...miss all of ya so much...how front row wld always turn arnd to talk to the bac row...miss tt...miss everyone..will nva forget the times we spent together...n all of ya...:)

blaque stepped into the dark at 9:32 AM!