Friday, September 10, 2004
sometimes i really hate myself.
wads wrong with me?? i think so much..i analyse everything to death..
those who know me well will know that i think alot..most of the time about unimpt stuff..
why am i so bloody sensitive? sometimes i wish i didnt feel so much.. sometimes i wish i cld jus brush it aside when i know someone is feelin left out n not do sth abt it n not feel bad.. sometimes i wish i would stop feelin it's my fault when my fren's in a bad mood n feel compelled to say sth..somtimes i wish that i can stop beating myself up over my own inadequacies, or when i beat myself up over wasting time when im supposed to be doin work.. i wish i could stop feeling that whenever someone is angry, she's angry with me..or when they're whispering n im not sure wad they're talkin abt, i leap to the conclusion that it must be abt me.. i wish i could stop..this i damn tiring..but if i wre to stop, it wldnt be me anymore..this IS my character, i like it or not.. n obviously i still cant stop analysing everything to death, or i wldnt be typing this entry.
blaque stepped into the dark at 3:49 PM!
me
I stare up at the pure white ceiling
fans whirring softly
A deathly silence in the room
Fear grips me by the throat
As I watch Death slowly glide
My wrinkled hand grips the bedsheet
As I begin a silent litany of prayer
He glides past the sleeping child
in the opposite bed
past the lady gazing listlessly towards the window
I struggle to breathe
Strange wheezing noises
The demons within me rage
Wreaking havoc
As my feeble heart sputters and chokes
My eyes close in pain
Flying open
In shocked remembrance
To see
His dark hand reach for me
Wishlist.
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