Thursday, January 27, 2005
so many things have happened these past two days...firstly to susan: sometimes i feel sad cos i feel like we're growing apart, but when i really stop n think, i know that's not true...for it's during times like this when u remind me that ure still there for me...n pls do know that this goes both ways...tho we're both busy with our own schedules, u'll always be special to me...;)
am currently sick...sigh...feel like shit...have the works man...flu...fever(on-off), sore throat, cough...ohman...felt realli terrible ytd...bleahhh...then today had chem spa...sigh jus glad it's ovr...at least i seem to be recovering...jus went downstairs to see doc...wahh damn ex...saw him for grand total of 5 mins n it costs $32!!!!!!!! daylight robbery..........!!!
let's start with ytd...for god knows how long i havnt seen him...so i was walking down from lib ytd n i decided to walk down to the tkd area to see if he was there...but the thing is i totally didnt expect him to be there...so when i saw him, it came as a big shock..n i was so happy...but as i walked down, he was walking up the stairs n when i said hi...he jus ignored me n continued up the stairs...granted, maybe he really didnt see me, but somehow i find tt hard to believe...i cld have sworn that he did...jus felt really shocked, hurt n angry...suddenly the futility of the situation realli dawned upon me...all the time i had spent agonising over everything, he pays no heed to..he may not even rmb me now..once said that anger is the best way to forget someone...but im not exactly angry...im jus realli shocked...i hadnt wanted things to end this way...but i guess even as i type this...my feelings have begun to change...does this mean im fickle? i realli dunno...but i didnt want it to end this way..
then today...ya...cant say much abt it too...not here...jus glad we're still frens...=)
blaque stepped into the dark at 4:39 PM!
me
I stare up at the pure white ceiling
fans whirring softly
A deathly silence in the room
Fear grips me by the throat
As I watch Death slowly glide
My wrinkled hand grips the bedsheet
As I begin a silent litany of prayer
He glides past the sleeping child
in the opposite bed
past the lady gazing listlessly towards the window
I struggle to breathe
Strange wheezing noises
The demons within me rage
Wreaking havoc
As my feeble heart sputters and chokes
My eyes close in pain
Flying open
In shocked remembrance
To see
His dark hand reach for me
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